Advanced search
Visit
10677
Last Updated: 2011/10/02
Summary of question
What is the ruling on having a relation with a non-mahram girl?
question
If I speak with a girl without the knowledge of her family, a girl whom I intend to marry, is there any objection in it?
Concise answer

Any form of relationship before marriage, let it be speaking intimately, touching and caressing etc. is haram. If one speaks with a girl with the intention of seeking pleasure or if he fears that he might fall into a sin with her, it is not permissible for him to speak with her. In doing so, it does not make any difference whether you inform her parents or not. However, if you are seriously intending to marry a girl, and you want to speak with her without having the intention to seek pleasure and you are not also likely to fall into a sin with her, there would be no problem in your speaking with her.

You should note that most of the grand jurists allow temporary or permanent marriage with a virgin girl with the permission of her father or paternal grandfather.[i]



[i] - Such statements by the grand jurists indicate that permission of father or paternal grandfather is a necessary prescriptive as well as wadh'ei (situational) condition of the marriage. That is to say marriage without the permission of a girl's guardian is forbidden and void.

Detailed Answer

Islam has introduced marriage as its answer to the needs of men and women, forbidding all other types of sexual relationship between the two genders, let it be intimate speaking, touching and caressing etc.; all of these can only happen after the marriage formula has been executed. Even a boy and girl who are fiancés and are planning to get married in the future, but haven't actually carried out the marriage formula cannot take lustful pleasures in each other, even if it is only limited to intimate speech.[1]

According to Islam, the sexual needs of a man and a woman should be fulfilled within the framework of Shari'ah rules. Most of the grand jurists say that a marriage contract with a virgin girl will not be valid unless her father or paternal grandfather gives permission.[2]

The question which may arise is whether or not it is permissible to have an ordinary relation with a person from the opposite gender. With this question in mind, we will now look at the answers given to some relevant questions by some of the grand jurists:

Question 1: When it comes to a man's conversation with a non-mahram woman, does it make any difference whether he talks to her directly or through telephone or other means?

All grand jurists: No, it does not make any difference; in both cases, if his intention is to seek pleasure and it is feared that he might fall into a sin, there is problem.[3]

Question 2: What is the Islamic law on chatting with a non-Mahram keeping in view that they discuss only ordinary topics?

All grand jurists: If it is feared that their conversation may entail evil and they may end up falling in a sin, it is not permissible.[4]

Question 3: Is it is permissible for a man to greet a non-Mahram woman or vice-versa?

All grand jurists: If one greets a non-mahram individual and he/she does not intend to seek pleasure and he/she is not likely to fall into a sin, there is no problem.[5]

Question 4: What is the ruling on jesting with a non-mahram?

All grand jurists: If a person's intention is to derive sexual pleasure or if it is feared that he will fall into a sin, it is not permissible.[6]

Question 5: Is it permissible for a man to have a friendly relation with a female colleague?

All grand jurists: Friendship between a girl and a boy is not allowed; because they are likely to fall into a sin. However, work-related communication or relation that does not lead them to a sin and which are in accordance with Shari'ah standards is allowed and there is no problem in it.[7]

Question 6: What does Islam say about expressing love and affection to a girl through email? Is it haram for him to send a love message to her?

 All grand jurists: It is not permissible to send a message that creates fitna (mischief) and paves way for sinning.[8]

It can be concluded from the above that any form of relationship before marriage, let it be speaking intimately, touching and caressing etc. is haram. If one speaks with a girl with the intention of seeking pleasure or if he fears that he might fall into a sin with her, it is not permissible for him to speak with her.[9] It does not make any difference whether he inform her parents or not. However, if you are seriously intending to marry a girl, and you want to speak with her without having the intention to seek pleasure and you are not also likely to fall into a sin, there would be no problem in your speaking with her.

For further information in this regard, kindly refer to the following indexes:

1. Question 717 (Having a relationship with a non-mahram (stranger) before marriage).

2. Question 1219 (Chatting between a boy and a girl).



[1] - Adopted from Question 1407 (website: 1427): Having a relationship with a non-mahram before marriage.

[2] - Such statements by the grand jurists indicate that permission of father or paternal grandfather is a necessary prescriptive as well as situational condition of the marriage. That is to say, marriage without the permission of a girl's guardian is forbidden and void.

[3] - Imam Khomeini, Istiftaat, vol.3, (opinion) question 52; Ayatollah Bahjat; Tawzih al-Masail, issue 1936; Ayatollah Makarem Shirazi, Istiftaat, vol.1, question 819; Ayatollah Tabrizi, Istiftaat, 1622; Ayatollah Saafi, Jami' Al-Ahkaam, vol.2, pg. 1673; Ayatollah Noori, Istiftaat, vol.2, question 656; Ayatollah Fazel Lankarani, Jami al-Masail, vol.1, 1718; Ayatollah Khamenei, Answers to Religious Queries, question 1145; Al-Urwah al—Wuthqa, vol.2, al-Nikah issue 3; Ayatollah Sistani, Sistani.org (internet), question 19 and d20; Office of Ayatollah Wahid Khurasani.

 

[4] - Ayatollah Sistani, sistani.org, internet; Ayatollah Tabrizi, tabrizi.org, internet; Office: all.

[5] - Al-Urwatul Wuthqa, vol.2, al-Nikah, issue 39 and 41.

[6] - Ibid, issue 31 and 39; A. Fazel Lankarani, Jami' al-Masail, vol.1, question 1720; Ayatollah Khamenei, Istiftaa, question 782.

[7] - Khamenei, Istiftaa, question 651 and 779; Office: all.

[8] - Imam Khomeini (r.a), Istiftaat, vol.3, miscellaneous questions, q.127; Office: All.

[9] - Extracted from Resaleh Danishjuyee (Student Book of Islamic Laws), office 16, pp.191 – 195.

Question translations in other languages
Comments
Number of comments 0
Please enter the value
Example : Yourname@YourDomane.ext
Please enter the value
Please enter the value

Thematic Category

Random questions

  • Is it true that some Muslim Gnostics can fly or levitate?
    12266 Practical 2007/02/08
    That which you have mentioned is an effect and result of Man’s spiritual strength, sometimes this may come about by acting in accordance with religious laws and legitimate ascetic discipline. This means that; by moving closer to Allah, Man can possess the greatest name ...
  • What are the distinct criteria through which we can distinguish a lafdhi mutawatir report from an ijmali or ma\'anawi one?
    9619 Contextual study 2014/09/28
    Mutawatir literally means for things to come one after another, without any interval between them and in hadithic terms, refers to a hadith that has been narrated by a group of narrators that one can be definite haven’t all agreed on forging and lying about altogether. Any ...
  • What are the features and privileges of Behar al-Anwar?
    6998 Contextual study 2015/05/03
    Behar al-Anwa being a huge hadith collection is the most important work by Allamah Muhammad Baqir Majlisi. It is a big encyclopedia of Shiite traditions encompassing all religious issues and themes including exegesis of the Quran, history, jurisprudence, theology etc. Some of the most important features of ...
  • Please explain the principles of Sheikh Toosi's political thought.
    8594 Laws and Jurisprudence 2010/12/21
     With the emergence of every era new needs and questions are generated which cause scientists and scholars to think and contemplate and strive to find appropriate answers to, and Sheikh Toosi is one the great scholars who has carried such a burden. The fundamentals of ...
  • Are there any women who reached the rank of ijtihad in religious seminaries?
    9574 تاريخ بزرگان 2007/11/04
    A worthy interaction of Islam with science, and requiring that from every Muslim man and woman, has resulted in women always studying the sciences in Islamic communities and finally some of them reached the rank of ijtihad.As an example, lady Mujtahideh Amin who passed away in 1403h. Lady Mujtahideh ...
  • Who were the Ansar?
    9406 تاريخ بزرگان 2010/04/07
    Ansar is the plural form of Naser from the root of Nasr, and means people who help and aid. In the advent of Islam, the residents of Medinah and its outskirts, especially the members of the two tribes of the Aws and Khazraj were called the Ansar, because ...
  • What is the relationship between man’s efforts and the sustenance that has been measured out for him?
    12817 Traditional 2011/08/15
    There are two kinds of sustenance. There is a sustenance that we go after and a sustenance that comes after us. In the traditions, the sustenance that comes after us is called “the sustenance that seeks,” and the sustenance that we seek has been named “the sought ...
  • What is the proof for Prophet Adam and Nuh (pbuh) being buried in Najaf?
    23457 تاريخ بزرگان 2010/07/20
    The main reasoning that proves the burial of Prophet Adam and Nuh (pbuh) in Najaf are the many hadith that disclose this fact. ...
  • Is it permissible to evade government tax in non-Islamic countries?
    7801 Laws and Jurisprudence 2011/01/10
    The answer given by Ayatollah Mahdi Hadavi Tehrani is as follows:1. You must abide by the rules of the country in which you are living except for when the rules may be opposed to Islamic Shari'ah.
  • I wish to know what the seven paradises are. Can you explain them for me?
    47501 Traditional 2012/04/07
    Dar al-Salam (Abode of Peace), Dar al-Jalal (Abode of Glory), Jannatul Mava (Garden of Refuge), Jannatul Khuld (Garden of Eternity), Jannatul Adan (Garden of Eden), Jannatul Firdous (Garden of Paradise) and Jannatul Naeem (Garden of Bliss) (or Delight) are names for the seven paradises which have been ...

Popular