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Last Updated: 2006/08/30
Summary of question
Please provide me with a dua that will help me to find a pious and suitable wife.
question
Please provide me with a dua that will help me to find a pious and suitable wife.
Concise answer

Allah has established methods for everything; if one wants to get a positive result he must act in accordance to the method. The way to find a suitable spouse is through precise research and knowing the person. Of course, one must also seek Allah’s help in this matter so that we would be guided along the right path and our efforts would end in a desired result.

 

The prayers that have come from the Imāms about choosing a spouse must be accompanied with effort and extensive research. One of the prayers that has been narrated from the Imāms has been narrated from Imām ‘Alī (a), he said: “Whichever one of you who wants to get married should first perform a two-rak‘at prayer, in every rak‘at Sūrah Fātihah and Sūrah Ya-sīn must be recited, and after the prayer ends and after one praises Allah, the following should be said:

 

“O’ Lord, give me a nice, child-bearing, thankful, bā-ghayrat spouse; a spouse that would be thankful if I treat him/her good and would forgive me if I treat him/her bad; a spouse that would help me if I remember Allah and would remind me of Allah if I forget him; a spouse that would protect me if I leave his/her presence and would make me happy if I enter his/her presence; a spouse that would obey me if I ordered him/her to do something and would take my vows seriously if I make one against him/her; a spouse that would calm me down if I get angry. O’ Lord of loft and honor, give me such a spouse. I have asked for him/her from you and nothing would come to me unless you give it to me.”

Detailed Answer

Allah, the most high, manages this world in an organized and wise fashion. For every occurrence there is a reason and it would be impossible to reach one’s goals except by using these causes and determined methods.

 

Marriage and choosing a spouse are very important matters in Allah’s viewpoint. Hence, the qualities of a suitable spouse have been mentioned in the Quran[1] and traditions from the infallibles (a). In addition to this, a man who wants to find a spouse must try to find a spouse that is similar to him (in intellectual, cultural, social, and economic affairs).

 

The path to finding a suitable spouse with piety is: first, understanding the signs and conditions of piety. Second, seeing if the girl who one wants to marry has these signs, this search can be performed in different ways, for example by speaking with the person herself, by looking into her family, by looking into her close friends, and by looking into her coworkers and neighbors. One must also request Allah’s aid to find the correct spouse through prayer. Therefore, first one must move then ask Allah to allow this movement to be on the right path so that the desired result can be achieved. Prayer and seeking divine help is this way in all affairs, in that Islam does not give permission for someone looking to find a spouse not to provide any effort, only to pray, and then ask Allah to give him a suitable spouse. This prayer will not be accepted because a prayer is accepted when one puts forth an effort to reach the result he desires and then asks Allah to help him in his way.

 

The prayers that have come from the Imāms about choosing a spouse must be accompanied with effort and extensive research. One of the prayers that has been narrated from the Imāms has been narrated from Imām ‘Alī (a), he said: “Whichever one of you who wants to get married should first perform a two-rak‘at prayer, in every rak‘at Sūrah Fātihah and Sūrah Ya-sīn must be recited, and after the prayer ends and after one praises Allah, the following should be said:

 

“O’ Lord, give me a nice, child-bearing, thankful, bā-ghayrat spouse; a spouse that would be thankful if I treat him/her good and would forgive me if I treat him/her bad; a spouse that would help me if I remember Allah and would remind me of Allah if I forget him; a spouse that would protect me if I leave his/her presence and would make me happy if I enter his/her presence; a spouse that would obey me if I ordered him/her to do something and would take my vows seriously if I make one against him/her; a spouse that would calm me down if I get angry. O’ Lord of loft and honor, give me such a spouse. I have asked for him/her from you and nothing would come to me unless you give it to me.”[2]



[1] Quran, 24:26 and 66:5

[2] Ja‘farīyāt, p.100; Bihār al-Anwār, v.100, p.269 (with a small difference)

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